The ones that had kids, I can understand how kids can put a big strain on a relationship. They are supposed to make you closer as a family but all too often the couple puts all their focus on the kids and not the marraige. You can't have a happy family if you don't have a happy marriage. Marraige is the head of the household and it must be catered to. Thats really easy to forget after having kids. So I can understand how those divorced couples that have kids, could have possiby gotten to the point of divorce.
But these couples who got married in their early 20's and stayed together for a year or two, had no kids and then divorce.? Really, what is the point in that?
Why in the crap would you spend all that money on a gorgeous wedding, if you aren't going to be committed to the marriage?
I don't believe in divorce. That might be stupid of me to say considering my husband was married before me. And guess what? He was in his early 20's when they got married, and he was in his early 20's when they got divorced. He will be the first to tell you that it was a really dumb mistake and they never should have gotten married. Even after talking to him I still don't get why he got married the first time.
*Disclaimer* Before you go getting all crazy on me for saying I don't belive in divorce let me clarify. If you are in an abusive marriage, be it physical, mental or emotional, I do belive you should get a divorce. Cheating is also grounds for divorce in my eyes, esspecially repeat offenders, some just won't ever change. If you are married to a drug addict and have tried to see it through and its just not happening, I believe that is also grounds for divorce. Please understand that I believe there are exceptions, even The Bible has rules and exceptions for divorce. I also know that you can not change someone but you do have control over yourself. So if you have truly given it your all (and it will usually take more than a year or two to know if you have given it your all) then you may be an exception. You can't change people and you can't help someone that won't help themselves. So anyway I understand there is gray area around divorce. So please don't have a freak out.**
When are these kids going to realize that it takes maturity to be married. Marriage isn't a game. Its not like playing house. You don't just decide to stop.
Howcome I knew that when I was 19 and got pregnant but apparently all these others don't. I didn't want to get married just because I was pregnant. I was not going to have a shotgun wedding. And Mike, well he had already been married so he wasn't about to jump into it agian unless he knew it was forever. My family was agianst it, I heard it from my Grandma every time I saw her. They all made it very clear that they did not approve of us having a baby and not being married, esspicially when the second baby came along. But guess what, none of them could do anything about it. None of them MADE us get married, they couldn't. You know why? Becuase they aren't me! I am me and I made my own decision not to get married, well I guess Mike helped in that too it wasn't just my decision. But seriously, I'm probably hitting a serious nerve with some people but why do you have to have a shotgun wedding at 18, 19, 20ish years old. How can anyone really say that their parents made them do it at that age?
I think there should be restrictions or requirements to be met before you are allowed to get married. Maybe a phsycological evaluation should be done before you can buy a wedding dress or rent a tux. LOL I don't know but something has got to be done about all these stupid people marrying and divorcing all the time.
So exactly why do people give up so easily? I knew our generation was a lazy one but I don't guess I realized how easy it is for people to run at the first sign of trouble. Its like the first good fight they have after the wedding and its done.
Grow up people. Or better yet, Grow Some Balls!
You entered into a leagally binding contract so figure out how to make it work!
I'm defiantely no expert in the area of relationships or marriage but I have been with my husband for 7 years and we have dealt with alot of different issues. People trying to come between us, rumors about cheating, long periods of seperation (due to his job, not acutally seperating), kids before marriage, co-habbitating before marriage, tons of fights. If I had a penny for every fight we got in, big or small, I would be an extremely rich woman. There are probably a ton more issues we dealt with those are just the ones that come to mind right now. But we worked through it.
Why? Not only becuase we love each other but because we have a family and we know that everything happens for a reason. God put us together for us to make two babies so obviously he wanted us to be together. It was just up to us to stay together.
It just makes me so sad to hear about people I went to high school with who are now getting divorced, already divorced, already divorced and remarried, or divorced and getting divorced agian. I'm just really thankful that God put me with a man who has finally realized it takes alot of work to be in a marriage, and that the work never ends. It is always a challenge to stay married. Are you up to the challenge? Seriously?
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